As I have ranted previously, i lost my job in April. At that time my husband had already exhausted his unemployment benefits, so my bi-weekly unemployment earnings has to pay for everything, a mortgage (which is more than 1.3 times the bi-weekly unemployment payment), food, gas for the car, school lunches for Sonny, gas, electric, cable (since I am looking full time for a job, I need the internet......and gas costs more than internet honestly). Of course understanding that the maximum one would likely earn on unemployment is under 1200 a pay period, you can then imagine that I am NOT making that. Do the math, and you have to conclude ultimately am not able to pay COBRA (@1700/month) for our family either. For the first time in my entire adult life I am without insurance. My children are without medical insurance....I am going to have a STROKE.
Today I picked up my prescriptions. I take two...generic blood pressure meds and generic zoloft for anxiety. My cost at the pharmacy was almost 80 effing bux. 80 BUCKS...OH MY GOD... what the hell?
I am off tomorrow to social services, believe it or not, for a welfare intake. I figure at the very least with our level of income (or non-come) we will qualify for the state children's health insurance. At the very least that won't weigh on my soul and scare the crap out of me and will allow me to relax while they ride bikes or run around ... I have a sneaking suspicion I won't qualify for anything else. I have another suspicion that I will become a ranting, raving lunatic at the social services office b/c we are literally teetering on the brink and I don't know what to do to stop from rolling over the edge!
Truthfully i am not looking for you to save me, or give me pointers. I just need to get it off my chest. Worse comes to absolute worst, we do have family that I know will help us, but I don't want to ask for that yet. I am continuing to do what I can to move forward, and will hopefully find a prescription savings program and buy my generic meds next month at a discount......or I will decide my kids can't eat anything but peanut butter and we sit in a dark house fanning each other with paper fans made out of things we scavenge from our neighbors on trash day ....
This was a big...nay, HUGE dose of reality for me to realize that I am really not that far from the streets and I have to figure out way to get past that and to a better place because I never, ever, will allow that to happen to my kids.