Why is EVERYTHING a surprise?

We all know that common sense isn't really as common as it should be.  I am amazed though at the fact that my significant other apparently has complete retrograde amnesia. Every.single.day he apparently wakes up and forgets items I have sent him, told him, or asked him to research for information.

Case in point:  We have been lucky enough to get a newer car from his dad, so I am selling our used jeep to a place in a city about half an hour from us.  I sent dh the information, told him about the appointment and all that.  After I showered today i asked dh if he was going to shower.  He was dumbfounded I went over the following info:

1) I am going to sell the car that I am driving to the place.  That would be an awfully long walk home, since I am selling our car to this company...which in the normal person's mind means we have to take TWO cars.
2) When I mentioned (again) that it's in Smith City, he was like "oh all the way up there"  NO, knob, I am making them open an outlet next door to our house so we don't have to drive the full 15 miles to Smith City.  REALLY   are you truly dumber than a box of boogers and just as useful??  I mean honestly...come the eff on!
3) He is mad at me b/c I was snarky when responding.  Again, the question of why I second guess him is in play. He must really forget that he is the same person who drove off-road and got a 4x4 Jeep stuck in a mud hole, and he's the same person who thought it best to shower before he call a job opportunity back (at 4:30 at night)... so go ahead be mad...i'd love it if he would prove me wrong

but he won't... :(

DH got a call from a staffing company

And he noticed the call from this morning just now, at 4:30 pm.  I said "give them a call" since it's a place that I sent his resume in response to a specific type of inquiry.  He said "i am going to go shower first"....WHAT THE FUCK?  Really? A potential job call comes in and you are going to go take a shower before returning their call, because surely they have smell-ophones where you can smell the breath or BO of the person on the other line.


WTHell?   I mentioned that to him and he stomped off to go use the bathroom, then stomped down to our family room before making the call.  


What a baby.  I need to be single, i swear.

Inter-generational ranting -- really.

My In-laws are in the midst of moving down to south Florida.  This is a very ambiguous time for me, we love them terribly, my kids will miss seeing them weekly, and they honestly are the only real support we have in terms of potential babysitters, etc...we haven't ever had to really ask anyone else.  But the move is the best for them, they have wanted to do this for a long, long time.  The process includes moving my grand-mother in law, an 87 year old very lovely, very nice, very fun lady.  The IL's have driven down, and the ass-busting ride would not work out so well for said 87 year old.  Let's call her "Dawn" ... so we have taken her in, essentially babysitting her, until Friday (tomorrow!!!) when we take her to the airport and hand her off to the airport attendants to get her settled.

She is not feeble, she is healthy, talkative, opinionated, loving, and honestly lovely.  For a few hours.

DD has been in HEAVEN with Dawn here.  Dawn is DD's new best friend.  Dawn was given DD's room (which has a nice queen sized bd, etc) to sleep in while she is visiting us.  DD refuses to sleep in Sonny's room b/c she wants to have her sleep over with her octogenarian bff. DD doesn't even give me a kiss goodnight. Our long-standing bedtime rituals are not adhered to b/c Dawn tells her it's time for bed.  My children having this opportunity to spend time with their great grandmother is truly a blessing, though I feel every second that it's ticking me toward a huge crevice that I really want to jump into to escape the third parent here in the house.  really.  REALLY. I want to either jump into it or push her into it.  LOL I am pretty certain my IL's wouldn't really mind if she didn't make it down to FL, since she has lived with them for over 40 years now.  This would be like an unexpected alone-time honeymoon....two 60-somethings running around their new 5-bedroom house naked.  ew.

That being said, (ok, now i have to try to windex my mind b/c i am skeeved).

Dawn is driving me crazy. CRAZY, bonkers...kookie, nuts, circus freak crazy.  Truly, honestly, really....CA-RAZY.

I want to run out into the street screaming, if it weren't thundering out.  I am sitting here typing this out and hoping beyond home that she doesn't walk down the stairs and start in on talking to me LOLOLOL.

She can't hear extremely well. She's not deaf, but hears the wrong words.  She corrects my hubby and I when we say things to our kids.  She corrects our children when they haven't done anything wrong.  She is DRIVING ME NUTS with my son who's a bit chubby, by in odd little ways pointing it out to him.  *I*, ranty mom who likes to call a spade a spade, do not point out his chubbiness to him since I am pretty sure he's aware of it and I don't want him to lose the little bit of confidence he has (ala Gibby on iCarly...)

Last night DD was super over-tired.  When they went to bed, Dawn told DD she wouldn't read her a book.  DD decided that it was the perfect time to connip.  Full-out screaming and crying, inconsolable connip.  Dawn kept telling her to stop crying which made it worse.  (cue underdog music here) Hubby goes in and asks what's up.  Dawn tells him that DD is crying and she doesn't know why.  Under-Hubby tells her it's b/c she's over (fucking) tired and doesn't know how to wind down.....and Dawn keeps on the "i don't know why she's upset" path.  Not a good idea with a 4 yo ranting, crying and blubbering all b/c she's FUCKING TIRED.  There's no real reason...she isn't in pain, she's not sick.  She's tired. She's been outside most of the day, running, riding her princess bigwheel and forcing the other girls in the neighborhood to play with her barbies and jewelry and she's done. Now since you allowed her to sleep with you in her bed, READ HER A BOOK AND GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP.....but it continues for a few more minutes, bargaining between an 87 year old and a 4.5 year old (who do you think will win this one??) and the stories begin.

It's silent now, the rain is pouring, thunder is rolling across the sky, but there are no feet coming down the stairs and no whines or "DD, stop that, dd come back" in the octave of age.  I honestly love the silent moments which is why most days I get up at the ass-crack of dawn so i can get some work done job searching and such.....but today it's spent with more than a little anxiety.  If Dawn doesn't get up I have to go check on her, but if I check on her too early, she might still be breathing.....whoops i hear creaking footsteps in the hallway.  Nothing to decide -- today.  Now i hear the voices chatting young and old.  It's still a good day and I love them both but really stay the fuck asleep!!!

Keep on Rantin' all!!

why do i let it annoy me?

When I think of how I tend to complain, i recall a commercial created by Perdue about its oven stuffer roaster in 1985.  The song is perfect for my mood...and i substitute the word "bitch" for pick... bitch, bitch bitch, bitch bitch bitch.

That being said, here I am knowing i am a ranty mcbitcherson but I just cannot stop myself.  I am just full of bitchy goodness almost like a weird oreo cookie or jelly donut LOL.  

Tomorrow is furniture transfer day. My IL's are transferring their furniture to both my BIL and our house.  We are definitly lucking out in this endeavor as we will have a new to us furniture set in our basement that is very cool and a truly excellent living room set for our sunroom...we will have three large seating groups in our home. LOL good news right?  I am just waiting for the people who are taking the basement couch and loveseat to pick it up, then we have to clear out the existing seating from our sunroom, scrub the floor and area and put the new bound carpet remnant down in preparation for tomorrow.  So what in the world do I have to bitch about right?  We are also getting a newer queen bed, a double/full mattress for our son's bottom bunk which will be a welcome change from the futon mattress that allows you to feel every.single. slat in the bottom... but i am troubled.  Why you ask?  BECAUSE my dh, love of my life, keeps telling me to relax.  WHAT THE HELL? Your parents already judge us b/c we are messy sloppy people who live a cluttered life.  And our house in areas that the furniture currently covers, is more than messy...it's dusty and dirty and just YUCK.  So yes, i am stressed about it.  Add to that the fact that my FIL is now forwarding me job hunting tips and giving me information on how to survive the job search and I want to shoot him in the fucking foot.  I know he's being thoughtful but I am doing every.single.thing he sends me, before he sends it to me.  I am getting at least an average of an interview - phone or in person, per week (though admittedly no job offers :(((() so I am doing something right, just not sure what I am doing wrong.

Anyway, just wanted to pick, er, bitch.  I do know we are blessed. I have healthy kids, TG, we have gotten no-cost healthcare for our kids, our AC works and we have more than enough food in the pantry and love to go around  We have people who do care for us and family and friends to share good and bad times with.  

A friend of mine posted on FB yesterday about perspective and I am working on turning my perspective around, trying to treasure the good in our lives and not always lament the not so good.....argh!  

Happy friday people and hope you have a fabulous weekend!

effing idiot

my husband had to go to a cubscout thing today.  They were to meet at a local township school.  For some reason this FUCKING IDIOT thought it might be a good idea to follow our tomtom down a non-paved road.  Only when the fucking wheels of the 4 BY GOD DAMNED 4  jeep are totally stuck w/ the body of the truck caught on a plateau.  What a goddamned asshole REALLY???? who does this shit? With a 9 year old in the fucking car.  Our other car is not inspected nor registered b/c everything on it is going down the tubes.

So of course I had to drive out, with shovels.  The entire scout pack's parents started digging the car out and NOTHING....FML.  Went home with DH having  a nervous breakdown in the car, he took a shower, kids showered and I made dinner, and started calling around to places to get a tow truck out.  Got no answer at most places and those that did answer only have flat beds.  le sigh...so I went to bed to start round two of phone calls in the morning.

Monday morning -- found a place to tow the car (mind you, I am not the person who drove the jeep into a hole.) The price is one that will not overdraw my account so that's good.  Went out to meet the guy (all of us in the unregistered, un-air-conditioned car) and he towed it.  Tow Truck guy was super nice, only charged me the bottom price he quoted us, so that's good.

We found your boat

Now we are home again, luckily, with both cars.  One covered in mud of course but the winner of a husband will wash that off later today "once it's cooler outside"  I am showered and in a snit now b/c he's getting his feelings hurt by the other cub scout dads who are teasing him.  He feels like they are picking on him BOO FRICKING HOOO. really?  you are supposed to be a grown assed man. These guys work all day and then come out to take their kids to cub scouting events. The scout master sent this picture. LOL but it hurt my dh's feelings.  Then he starts talking about how they (two of the scout masters) pick on him and he's starting to get pissed off.  REALLY?  I cannot begin to tell him why people might pick on him. He wanders around oblivious to the fact that he has not worked for over 2 years, has made 0 effort to find a job...i struggle every single day to find employment that will support us, and allow some perks back into our life.  *I* am the one who calls his dad when we need something, *I* am the one who calls to get things fixed or replaced or removed. WHAT is wrong with this picture?  I am so mad right now I could spit, and he wonders why I second guess him when he makes decisions.  really? He could ask that with a fucking straight face.  oh my god, i joked about burying him back where the jeep was.  It was only half a joke, and only half b/c I would not do anything that might leave my children without either parent.

sigh.  /end rant