Thursday, June 30, 2011

I love SuperNanny

It's true. I love Supernanny.  I wish that I were not married so I could propose to her, if I lived in NY or another socially progressive state that would allow it.  It's not that I am interested  in her as a sexual being, but man oh man she is consistent, firm, funny, and warm all in a plump pudding package... she's a bit fashion-awkward and such but that's not a problem for me.  

I am troubled by my love for her though....because I sit and watch the Supernanny for hours, honestly.....while my kids do whatever it is they want to do in our play room.  I engage with the TV show, taking pointers and information that truth be told, I will never use because I know that I am a lazy parent.  I hate that about myself, but realize that while she amazes me, and has super ideas that really will help to run my life, my household and my children's schedules smoothly, that I won't ever use the advice.  I will be the parent that cries during the family meeting and will pledge to do whatever it takes to get my life and family on track, and then the.very.split.second she goes on her trip away, I will revert to my lazy bass-ackward ways of parenting.  I would sheepishly watch the DVD of shame, where she'd highlight where my husband and I did not follow the techniques in place and how we lacked and I will, honestly and truthfully, swear to continue to be better -- and I will...while she is there.  

My house is a mess, though not a hoarded mess (thank you lord!!) but I teeter on being on the brink... my kids are a mess LOL and I would love Supernanny to come and live with us and never least not until DD is in college -- i am skeered of DD and think Jo Frost could help manager her ;) with little or no violence...Jo Frost - if you are reading this, please email me at -- i might even get a divorce for you :)  

<3 RantyMom

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Figuring out what I want to do when I grow up....

I think about life while it is moving forward....and I don't think that things happen by coincidence.  So, while I was watching Supernanny on DVR today, ignoring my own children, I saw a family that has a home business baking and sending cookies/sweets.

ding ding ding ding ding alarm bells went off in my head that this is something I could do, to bring money into our family with a low level of outlay of cash to get the business off the ground.  There are craft fairs and flea markets around in this my wheels are turning, that perhaps I could set up a table with samples and grab bags of our wares.....and get this party started.

My hubby came in and saw the same episode and said "we could do that" who knows.

I have a batch of berry/almond biscotti in the oven right now, just to see if we enjoy them as much as I think we do.... and tomorrow who knows.  Maybe it's off to another fabulous idea to support my family some way, some how.


Tuesday, June 21, 2011

bills from my previous employer

hahahahahahah. Today I received an email from my former employer.  Yes, the group that let me go over 2 months ago to essentially find my way through the social services pool and learn the true meaning of struggling 101.  (I guess I shouldn't say that b/c I do have a home at this time, food on the table and in the pantry and TV and internet to entertain us but it's difficult to realize that when I look at the $9.00 in my bank account that if something came up, I can do NOTHING about it.  I am serious....our bank account has $9.00 in it. I get unemployment tomorrow so my hope is that my fuel purchase yesterday doesn't clear my account before the unemployment does) 

So when I receive this bill from them for a car rental that I had used during my tenure at the job, I laughed, laughed, laughed and almost wrote a scathing email that they could get in line behind the hospital and any other entity I owe money to.  But I am not going to do that since I owe the money to them for the rental.  I am going to write a letter, mail it and offer a payment plan.  The rental is more than 1/10th of my biweekly check so there's no way in hell I can pay it in full.  I am going to offer $10 a month.  If they choose not to accept then it's on them to do what they will.  I will have proof that I offered to rectify the situation in good faith and was refused.  That a larger payment will definitely take food out of my childrens' mouths and an organization devoted to the benefit of women would do something such as this.  And they still have the framed certificate of membership that belongs to me.  I should send them a bill for that!!

Losing this job was inevitable....but there was so much more lost in this transition.  I lost someone I considered one of my best friends.  She no longer even comments or chats with me.  She wouldn't have become the person she is if it weren't for me (no I didn't get her the job, but she was never in touch with the organization before this position.....I was and forwarded her the info when the opening was advertised)  What fun that is.  It would be easy if we didn't share friends IRL but we do.  Ah well, life is messy.

Anyway just wanted to put this out there before I did send the scathing email I want to send.... this helps me get off the ledge a bit!

Monday, June 20, 2011

Wedding drama - continued :D

As discussed on Friday, my BIL is getting married this weekend coming.  I am still without an itinerary of where my kids and dh need to be (they are all in the wedding).  The bride isn't feeling well, has a horrendous summer cold, and to top that off the stylist she went to for a trial run thoroughly upset her.  He was truly a dick, brutal to her and really doing what he could to break her down.

I didn't mention this to her, but bridal consults are not usually done less than a week before your wedding especially not with a stylist you have never seen before.  Now we are in def-con -10 to find a potential hair person and make up for the wedding...but that's not the issue.  I am trying to help as best I can (and have contacted my own stylist who will do it with no trouble but now BIL and his bride are hemming and hawing)

My current issue remains that I have no specific itinerary for the big day. I know that we have to be at the restaurant by a certain time, but beyond that there's still no level of expectation being set.  PLUS I contacted the hotel we were told we were staying in  to confirm that we would have a double room and not a king (b/c of the 2 kids) and I was told that the reservations were canceled.

<<Cue needle dragging across vinyl record noise >>

My stomach dropped a bit, since now I was going to be the bearer of not pleasant news.  I emailed FIL about the reservations (after double checking that it WAS the hotel he told me about). His response was "oh we changed hotels to XYZ"  (crickets chirping)   THE EVENT IS THIS FUCKING WEEKEND and I could almost feel me sitting in the un-airconditioned car (it broke) having a minor stroke over not knowing where the fuck I am supposed to be going/staying.   Why not forget to tell us the date has changed or the restaurant no longer allows overweight women so I am SOL?

Of course my DH is like "at least we know where we have to go now"  REALLY?  Why am I the only person who thinks this is fucked up in my family?  Am I the one who is wound SO tightly that diamonds come out if you shove a lump of coal up my butt?  I don't think that's the case but apparently somewhere in the past 13 years that I have known my IL's we have crossed dimensions and I now reside in The Twilight Zone. 

So gentle readers, people who take time out to read MY rants or perhaps make fun of the idiocy of what I call my life.....if you think I am out of line, please let me know!  Leave a comment or email me!  I would love to know that I am not crazy, or perhaps have proof that I am, indeed, over the edge ;)  

I suppose I will be back, before the week's end, with a final rant down to the blessed event ;) 

Friday, June 17, 2011

Fuming Friday - Wedding Preparations

pulling my hair out!!
Ahhhh my Friday post.  Until a few moments ago nothing really made me THAT ranty that it would be considered a "fuming" post.  Cue my IL's response to a request for an itinerary for the wedding that's to occur NEXT weekend that DD, Sonny and my husband are in.

Am I overreacting to this situation?  I welcome your opinions!!! Leave a comment below.

Earlier this week I requested the approximate schedule from my BIL and his Fiancee.  I was told they'd send it to me.  NOTHING.  Today I emailed FIL "do you know what the plan / schedule is for next weekend?  I have no idea what time we are supposed to be to the hotel, if there's a rehearsal, and what the expectation is"

The response?  "I don’t have a timeline but we can chat on Sunday."  This makes me fume.  FUME.  I have two kids involved in this wedding and a week and a day before the wedding I have no idea what the expectation is for them, no idea what time we need to be at the hotel (which is in a shore-resort town) nor what I need to bring for them (ie: rehearsal dinner - clothes?).  I am not a control freak generally, but I like to have an idea of what the expectation might be for my family so that we do not wreak havoc on what is hopefully going to be one of the best days of my BIL and fSIL's lives.  Since FIL reserved our rooms, I have no idea what time I can check in, what TYPE of room we have (will we have a king sized bed or two queens) and if I can bring snacks and store them in the room for Sonny and DD to enjoy for the two days we will be staying there.  As you may know both my hubby and I are unemployed and don't have a ton of extra cash to eat out or order in at a resort town.....

I do not like to live by the seat of my pants.  Since I am consulting for a company in NJ I also need to have a clear idea of where I need to be and what time I need to be there (so that I can schedule time to work on the project and go into the office to collaborate with the team).  And i have TWO KIDS BELOW THE AGE OF 10 WHO NEED TO HAVE SOME SEMBLANCE OF STRUCTURE.

I am being fatalistic here, but I can see how the weekend is going to go already and my stomach is aching. Maybe I can go back to the hospital????  Below is a synopsis of what I think will happen:
Friday:  pack up everything we will need and find a way to entertain the kids on the ride.
Saturday: Arrive at hotel.  Kids will run around in lobby (since we are permissive parents) and create some disturbance.  FIL and BIL will yell at DD to tell her to stop running/skipping/dancing (she's 4.5) and making noise.  FIL and BIL will look at DH and me, communicating via daggers to "control these danged kids" I will take kids out to the parking lot so as to not cause any more commotion or break the fucking eggshells we have to walk on all.the.time.  Hopefully we'll get a room that's not right near my IL's we don't have a knock on the door when my kids/tv/whatever are too loud.

Sunday:  Wedding is on beach.  DD and Sonny will be yelled at to stop playing with the sand, stop dancing round, stop making noise, stop stop stop being kids. (My stomach aches right now).  I will hopefully retain most of my hair follicles.  DH will either yell at his dad and brother or he will pretend nothing's happening and I will have a stroke and fall to the sandy ground and hopefully someone will drag me off the beach before the sandfleas and crabs get to me.   At the reception DD and Sonny will do their level best to garner the attention of every adult in the room.  They will win -- there's no competition between a 35 year old woman no matter how beautiful and  a determined 4.5 year old girl and 9 year old boy who tag team for attention.  They are cute, funny, and noisily annoying.  FIL and BIL will probably yell more at which time my mama bear instincts will kick in full force and I will threaten them (the adults) with bodily harm and remind them that this was their mother effing idea to bring my children to this occasion to be flower girl and ring bearer.  I offered. i offered to have my kids stay with my family . If I am still alive and haven't been transported to the local hospital, I will be drinking wine. If there's wine at the reception (both BIL and his fiancee are recovering addicts but my IL's are potentially there WILL be alcohol).  I will continue to drink wine and eat my meal and pretend that all is well....until I pass out.....and my kids might be allowed to eat cake or dance but who knows.

And I could prepare better for the upcoming weekend of family fun if I knew what the expectations are.  For the record:   BIL and his Fiancee and my IL's said that they want the kids at the wedding and that they'll be so great to be part of it. They'll have fun and have lots to do........but the proof will be in the pudding. Unfortunately my predictions with this family generally come to fruition.


Anyone have a spare room in a quiet, softly padded cell for me?  Please?  I promise I will weep silently so as not to disturb your family members....

Monday, June 13, 2011

Tummy Troubles and the RantyMom Experience

I have been MIA from RantyMom for a few days.  I have been experiencing tummy trouble since my visit to social services last week.  I originally thought it might be anxiety related to having to go into the bowels (LOL) of the system....but Friday arrived and my stomach was still funky, and then Friday afternoon arrived and I thought i was feeling better so i ate some rice crackers and some cheese with DD and then all hell broke loose in my gut!  Seriously.  I felt like a flaming pole of death was being rammed through my body from the upper right side of my body through to the back sprouting little brush-fires of pain throughout its path. WHEEEE it was so much fun.

So i checked myself into the local hotel ugh, er hospital (newly renovated, LOOKS like a hotel) to be checked out.  I sat in the ER for about 8 hours but at least i was in a triage room with a TV and all that.  Nothing by mouth so I was dying of thirst as i sat there, but i felt OK since I was in a place that could help me if I was about to expire.

ER doc said she wanted me to have an MRCP (an MRI scan of the ducts of my liver and pancreas).  Said an ultrasound wouldn't show up what she suspects is the issue (a stone in my common bile duct -- happened before).  She said i needed to be admitted and the floor doc would issue the order for the MRCP.  So I was and I got the lovely liquid diet (which at that time was fine since all i wanted to do was drink something, anything).  I was in a lovely single room (they are all single rooms) and my kids and dh came to visit me for a few minutes.  They were all more interested in the view out the window from the 7th floor than in me LOL but that's ok...par for the course.  So i spent the night in a nice room, eating water ice and sipping water all delivered to me from room service (they are open until midnight btw)  with no belly trouble.  

In the morning (Sunday) the doc came in and talked to me.  He basically dismissed my thought that it might be a stone in the common bile duct, did not order the MRCP but had me go for an u/s instead.  U/S was normal so that's good i guess...but the last time I was hospitalized the U/S and liver enzymes were ALL normal until I had to come back in severe biliary colic 3 days later (the night before Thanksgiving in the US) and was hospitalized for almost 2 weeks.  Since I am not a doctor, but play one on the Internet, he disregarded my opinion and discharged me thusly (which i am glad for anyway since I can't PAY for the visit LOL)

In order to ensure that my tummy troubles are over, we had burritos and tacos last night for dinner...and i am fine.  I am almost pissed that I didn't have any pain b/c I wanted to prove the doc wrong..... how healthy is THAT?  I wanted to prove the doctor he was wrong by getting sick... makes no sense to the normal person i think....but I am far from normal and always want to be right!!!!

OK so it's sideways. I can't figure out how to set this upright, sorry!
So thinking healthy thoughts over here and waiting to get a few things done around the house and with my resume, searching for the elusive mid-life career change job.... DD is playing Cinderella right now, tip tapping around the hardwood with her powder-blue plastic her gown, tiara,....oh and red lipstick <-- that's a must for all Cinderella's today!                

Friday, June 10, 2011

Fuming Fridays -- my new project LOL

I try try try to be positive (??) -- probably the main reason my blog is called RantyMom... since i am so positive, pleasant and just a joy to behold :) and i get struck down my the reality that is my life every time.

So....for three point 5 years I had suggested, begged, requested that staff I worked with to pay their "membership fee" so we can post that "i paid my fees won't you do so too?"   I worked for a fairly large membership organization.  I was laid off due to a few reasons (my primary thought is that I am neither young nor pretty enough to represent the organization but of course that's not going to be stated...however the women hired in my stead are all below 30 and cute as buttons with NO EXPERIENCE...)

Anyway, I today I see two high level employees posting that they value their membership in our organization and they are paying their membership fees.  WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?  Every year when I paid my dues and did outreach to the staff I was told that it's not important for them to pay their membership fees, that they are OBVIOUSLY members and that they shouldn't have to pay.

WOW. I am hurt, angry, pissed and want to smash some of these people in the face right now.

I could really throw up right now.

Off to lick my wounds and do the best I can to let go of this anger. This doesn't affect the people I formerly worked affects me, makes ME unhappy, makes MY heart race and I cannot let them have this power.


Thursday, June 9, 2011

My trip into the underbelly of the beast!

Today was my first fore into the interesting world of social services.  The main reason I have decided to go this route is that we are without health insurance (lamented in a few other posts LOL) and I figure that if my family is eligible for anything then we will utilize the services until we are more solvent.

It was a long afternoon.  I went through intake, went to meet with a counselor to discuss the paternity of my children and then sat in a waiting room with roughly 80 people (some in couples/triads) waiting to go through the final interview and such.  A homeless guy came in ranting at the staff because someone had forced him out of the shelter he was living in....he was given paperwork to fill out and he did so, then went out to lunch, telling the clerk he'd be back at 1:30.... there were a lot of teeny tiny babies crying, some preschoolers strolling and smiling and dancing....there was a 20 something guy accompanying a young woman.  He had  running commentary on the other people in the room.  "what is she 12?"  "look at the stumps on that lady" and on and on. I wanted to smack him, this smug kid, and bring him back to reality....he is waiting in the welfare office with his gf....this could be his future....and he's too much of an idiot to recognize it.

I was overwhelmed with a new perception of life in the US.  I went into the offices thinking that I would be very very out of ordinary in there.  My own belief I guess that the educated, previously financially stable don't end up on the dole...i was wrong and the faces in the rooms I entered underscored the reality of the times in which we live.

So, i have to send back a few items we were missing during intake (will go out tomorrow) and then barring any problems with said paperwork, I will have a determination in 30 days or so.  Yep, even today government still moves at the speed of molasses.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

BIG dose of reality.....

As I have ranted previously, i lost my job in April.  At that time my husband had already exhausted his unemployment benefits, so my bi-weekly unemployment earnings has to pay for everything, a mortgage (which is more than 1.3 times the bi-weekly unemployment payment), food, gas for the car, school lunches for Sonny, gas, electric, cable (since I am looking full time for a job, I need the internet......and gas costs more than internet honestly).  Of course understanding that the maximum one would likely earn on unemployment is under 1200 a pay period, you can then imagine that I am NOT making that.  Do the math, and you have to conclude  ultimately am not able to pay COBRA (@1700/month) for our family either.  For the first time in my entire adult life I am without insurance.  My children are without medical insurance....I am going to have a STROKE.

Today I picked up my prescriptions.  I take two...generic blood pressure meds and generic zoloft for anxiety.  My cost at the pharmacy was almost 80 effing bux.  80 BUCKS...OH MY GOD... what the hell?

I am off tomorrow to social services, believe it or not, for a welfare intake.  I figure at the very least with our level of income (or non-come) we will qualify for the state children's health insurance.  At the very least that won't weigh on my soul and scare the crap out of me and will allow me to relax while they ride bikes or run around ... I have a sneaking suspicion I won't qualify for anything else.  I have another suspicion that I will become a ranting, raving lunatic at the social services office b/c we are literally teetering on the brink and I don't know what to do to stop from rolling over the edge!

Truthfully i am not looking for you to save me, or give me pointers.  I just need to get it off my chest.  Worse comes to absolute worst, we do have family that I know will help us, but I don't want to ask for that yet. I am continuing to do what I can to move forward, and will hopefully find a prescription savings program and buy my generic meds next month at a discount......or I will decide my kids can't eat anything but peanut butter and we sit in a dark house fanning each other with paper fans made out of things we scavenge from our neighbors on trash day ....

This was a big...nay, HUGE dose of reality for me to realize that I am really not that far from the streets and I have to figure out way to get past that and to a better place because I never, ever, will allow that to happen to my kids.


Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Dancing Queen

DD will be in her first ever dance recital in less than two weeks.  She's pretty excited, more for the fact that she'll get to wear mascara, eyeliner and lipstick.  I am afraid once she gets ON the stage she will never get off....her class's number is about halfway through the first act, and I am truly fearful that we will have to physically remove her from the stage which will include mom and/or dad running around chasing her screaming....

The whole world is her stage!
This girl thinks that the entire world is her stage.  She is filled with joy and energy radiates from her body.  She loves to be the center of attention and frankly, I will be surprised if she follows the rest of the dancers off stage without tears and screaming from her parents.

No matter what happens on recital night, her dad and I, her grandparents and her brother will be very proud.  My hope is we won't have to resort to removing her from the facility but if we do, it will be ok, another page in the memory book that is DD.  She is challenging and so different from Sony, but she is worth the challenge and pays us back every day in hugs, kisses and unbridled zest for life.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Would love a venti non-fat double caff job!!!!

So i lost my job in April.  My husband has been out of work for over 2 years and we are essentially in dire straits.  I am applying for jobs in my chosen profession, for positions that are under my pay grade (since benefits are more important to me right now than money) and have even tried to get in with Trader Joes and Starbucks...and though I have gotten a few interviews for professional gigs (though nothing past a second interview) I am getting NOTHING from Starbucks, Target, Trader Joe's, etc....and the stores I see in my neighborhood and on my travels all have help wanted or "start your career here today" signs.  When I have inquired I am directed to the website...and that has not worked out for me.

I want to scream!  Honestly, I would LOVE to work at Starbucks especially.  I enjoy their customer service model and think that working as a barista and actually understanding the needs/wants of the customers would be a great Starbucks is a true leader in their industry, their product is entirely consumable and the concept intrigues this consummate customer service and psychology buff :)

Anyone have any suggestions on how to get a foot in the door?

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Freaky Eaters

I cannot believe that these things are real.  In my head I *know* it is true, but come ON...only eating corn starch or potatoes with cheese cannot even be considered healthy...

Good luck Freaky Eaters and I commend you for getting help...but COME ON......

/end rant.

Saturday, June 4, 2011 judgement but observing.

I have a small addiction to home improvement shows (sell this house, moving up, that type of thing) and to shows about mental health issues that manifest in unusual ways: hoarding, animal hoarding, eating disorders, surgical addiction...things like that.  In some small way seeing how out of control other people can be puts into perspective, however moderately, in control I am.

I am messy. I am a piler...i have stacks of things on our kitchen table (homework/school things; activities for the kids; important mail;) but they are manageable piles.  We don't need a path through any room, and our bathrooms and kitchen sinks don't have indescribable pudding in them.  

What really SCARES me though is that I could see how one day I might find myself on TLC or Discovery or OWN completely surrounded by things.  I find that when I am stressed out, upset or depressed I tend to "clean up" but that means I take things that can be put away and put them in plastic bags.  I then have multiple plastic bags (target, walmart, kohls) filled with paper or items that need to be put away...they aren't sitting and blocking the way to my bed or surrounding the entrance to the house but I can imagine how out of hand I could get in my tendency to need things and the fear I have from time to time to throw anything away.  Sonny might need the study guide to his test from the beginning of 3rd grade.  DD might need to see her dance schedule from her first year in ballet.  DH probably would need the gamer magazine with portal II highlighted since, yanno, he doesn't HAVE portal II(he does).

It is frightening to see how truly out of control the people highlighted on the different hoarding shows are.  Even "clean house" reflects at least some level of hoarding behavior -- i worry about THOSE people b/c the reason that the home has become so full of things don't seem to really be addressed.  The home is beautified and the viewer walks away from the show thinking "wow what a gorgeous home" but where are these people in 5 years?  I know they follow up, but it's usually within a year of the Clean House team.  What support is in place for these families who are obviously dealing with some level of emotional issue.

Something else that terrifies me -- some of the people featured on the shows don't seem to realize just how bad they are living.  Some of the people have to go to local gas stations to use the restroom, have to shower at work and sleep in their cars. The smells alone would have to drive you out...i cannot imagine being so immune to the stench of rotting food, animal carcases, animal and human feces and urine....but it happens it HAS to happen otherwise, how could one live like this?

So it's something I think about.  Not a rant, not only about being a mom, but i think about it. A lot...and hope that I stay ahead of my tendencies and stay aware of my fear.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Preschooler TV & Commercials -- reposted from old site... :)

Since I have been unemployed, I have spent a good deal of time with my daughter, DD.  She’s lovely, funny, quirky, outspoken, smart and totally fresh.  Being that DD is about 4.5, she either plays the role of my assistant during my “work” hours (job seeking and resume/connection building) and/or watching NickJr.
I’ll be honest, I wish that TV today was on the same schedule as TV when I was a child, for children at least.  There was NOTHING on TV when I w mid-day as a child other than an hour of Sesame Street followed by an hour of Electric Company and maybe a Mr. Rogers inserted here or there.  There weren’t day long cartoons or educational shows that made me learn things.  The morning cartoons were Looney Toons where a rabbit/chicken/pig/cowboy beats the crap out of another character or a cat and mouse chased each other around until one or the other is “dead”…not many life lessons since there was little chance I’d ever have an anvil dropped on me or have a date with Tom and/or Jerry….
DD has a ton of viewing opportunities. She particularly loves NickJr and some of the shows have redeeming qualities (Max & Ruby not withstanding). It’s the education that she’s getting from the commercials that I object to.
In the past few weeks, both DD and Sonny have given me some suggestions for products they think I’d like to try:
Trilastin cream to get rid of my many stretch marks
Strivectin cream to eliminate my (apparently) deep and wrinkly lines.
My BFF (best fish friend) because, well who WOULDN’T want to have a teabag full of fish larvae that will grow into these colorful friends for life (or for a few weeks until we forget to feed the things and then we have to have a fishy funeral and the dead BFF can join the plethora of dead animals just under the surface of our backyard).
Happy Nappers — in case I would need a cute, cuddly and fun pillow for nap time.
LaLaLoopsie — disturbing looking dolls that would be better suited to being called “lala corpsie”  with their button eyes and weird floppy bodies.
My concern is that in the midst of all the high-brow cerebral learning that is being piped into her mind are these jewels from society that tell her that women (and the first two items are marketed SOLELY to women) should be ashamed of the stretch marks they have, the laugh lines they earned and don’t get me started on the Schick Quattro Trim style showing all the ummmm pruning capabilities of said razor.  REALLY?
I want my girl to grow into a woman who is confident of her body, who knows that she’s a beautiful person inside and out without the need to wear makeup or change the way she looks unless it’s what SHE wants to do….
Argh ;) off to lay down with my Happy Napper and Lala Corpsie to lament my lines and unruly bikini area.  If only I had used the stretch mark cream, I might have had the opportunity to use the quattro trim style…. ;)


Field Day and Young Love

*previously posted at my initial blog account, but i don't like it so here I am on blogger :)*
Sonny confided in me yesterday on the way to school that he has a crush…on…a girl.
The girl has brown hair and it’s long (and he likes long hair) and she’s pretty and quiet and really nice.  He proceeded to show me how long her hair is by trying to put his arm down his back.  She sometimes wears it straight and sometimes curly…and on and on and on….
And she looks at him (or so he thinks) in one of his classes.
I asked him if she looks at him b/c he’s goofy or b/c he’s cute.  He, of course, says because she must have a crush on him.
HE IS 9 YEARS OLD. I am not ready for this…crushes and heartache and love and puppy dog eyes….it seems like yesterday that he was crushing on kids he wanted to be friends with and now he is ready to pop the question to Savannah (F not B…please, there are two Savannahs and I was schooled in which one was the one)
He is such a tender hearted child…i often want to shake him and tell him to grow some ba11s…this crush might be the start of that, or at least I hope it is and he does, grow a set that is.  I love that he is sensitive and loving, but the world isn’t always a place that tolerates that sensitivity outwardly and unfortunately he has to live in the world that is before him, not the one I wish he could live in.
Mean? probably….but realistic, unlike, IMO the parents who are raising their gender neutral “it” baby by not allowing anyone to know the child’s sex.  Some day they will face the wrath of a very confused child who doesn’t know how it fits into the world that is divided, though not always clearly, by gender roles and mores.  It’s not right, but IMO it is reality.
So… off to find something else to rant about.
<3 rantymom :)