Annoyed with a drop-in Childcare place

My husband (insert angelic choirs here) has gotten a job! It was very quick notice, got a call Friday and he started on Monday.  I had previous plans to go to a local university to make a presentation on campus that afternoon.  I sought out a local "gym" type place that has child-care services full-time along with the birthday parties, etc.


We had used the place once before years ago, and the price wasn't horrible ($65 for both kids) so I figured they'd have a nice afternoon while I got some business taken care of.  Drop off was uneventful, the manager was at the desk, kids were in two play rooms, divided by age appropriately.


When I picked up my children at 3:45, i walked directly into the location, no one was at the desk. I saw my son (9) sitting in a line of "older" kids along the hallway..not sure what their plans were.  I also saw the younger children in the kitchen area with some sort of craft project.  The only teacher/leader I saw looked to be a 15 year old boy -- this conflicts with NJ State laws that govern licensed child care spaces.  I was able to leave without any notice or discussion with both of my kids.


As I thought about this, I was concerned.  This was a licensed daycare place, and truthfully, there are regulations.  Had I wanted to, I felt that i might ave been able to walk out with someone else's kid (though i barely wanted to walk out with my own LOL).  I emailed the owner my concern:

I am a bit concerned.  I came in yesterday to pick up my kids at around 3:45 and I could not find a single adult. There was a teenager kind of leading a crafting class in the kitchen area, and the older children were sitting in the hallway in a line.  I came in, got my kids and walked out without what I feel was a single person noticing.  I could have probably taken other children with me, had I had the inclination....that scares me.
Please let me know what your normal protocol is for pick up at the end of the day?  Since we aren't regular users of your service, maybe I wasn't aware of what is SUPPOSED to happen.

I sent this on Tuesday, got no response on Wednesday and followed up today b/c I still hadn't heard anything back.  The response I then received is below:

I apologize I am just receiving this email today and was very alarmed when I read this.  I just spoke with Chrissy,  my manager about this and she was in fact in the building when you came and picked them up.   She was in my office which has a two way mirror on both the windows and my office door.
She did see you pick up but was nursing her newborn, that's why she didn't come right out.  I do apologize that she didn't come out right away and acknowledge your presence and thank you for coming in.  Had someone other than Chrissy been here we would have asked you for ID if we weren't here when you dropped off in the morning. 

As far as your concern regarding our ratios we are a liscened facility and we follow the NJ state guidelines for ratios.  They were actually 3 people in the building that day when you dropped off and picked up.  With there being 28 children that day our staff to child ratio was more than fine. 

Again I apologize that Chrissy did not come out and acknowledge your presence.  Please let me know if you have any other questions or concerns.

The owner followed up with a 2nd response:

The more I think about it.  All you have to do is ask your kids how many teachers were  here that day.  They were not in the same group all day so there had to be more than one teacher.  If there were kids lined up in the hallway that meant they were waiting for their teacher who was probably in the restroom or in the storage room getting out games. 

I can definitely appreciate your concerns but am very surprised that you would think I would only have 1 coach in the building and let a new parent walk out with no one noticing.  We have been in business a very long time and have a good reputation and I would hate for you to walk away with a bad impression.

So I am even more concerned since her email to me feels defensive.  I realize my questioning the business could be an offensive thing, but I didn't drop willy nilly and call the county (which I could have done) I simply asked them what their protocol is.  I have never had a daycare situation where I didn't have to sign my child in using a password system or some other format and since I am not a regular here, I don't know what their set up is for day to day. 


So let me know, any of you, if you think I was out of line to be concerned and what I might have done differently if you think so!


Thanks!!

Why is EVERYTHING a surprise?

We all know that common sense isn't really as common as it should be.  I am amazed though at the fact that my significant other apparently has complete retrograde amnesia. Every.single.day he apparently wakes up and forgets items I have sent him, told him, or asked him to research for information.

Case in point:  We have been lucky enough to get a newer car from his dad, so I am selling our used jeep to a place in a city about half an hour from us.  I sent dh the information, told him about the appointment and all that.  After I showered today i asked dh if he was going to shower.  He was dumbfounded I went over the following info:

1) I am going to sell the car that I am driving to the place.  That would be an awfully long walk home, since I am selling our car to this company...which in the normal person's mind means we have to take TWO cars.
2) When I mentioned (again) that it's in Smith City, he was like "oh all the way up there"  NO, knob, I am making them open an outlet next door to our house so we don't have to drive the full 15 miles to Smith City.  REALLY   are you truly dumber than a box of boogers and just as useful??  I mean honestly...come the eff on!
3) He is mad at me b/c I was snarky when responding.  Again, the question of why I second guess him is in play. He must really forget that he is the same person who drove off-road and got a 4x4 Jeep stuck in a mud hole, and he's the same person who thought it best to shower before he call a job opportunity back (at 4:30 at night)... so go ahead be mad...i'd love it if he would prove me wrong

but he won't... :(

DH got a call from a staffing company

And he noticed the call from this morning just now, at 4:30 pm.  I said "give them a call" since it's a place that I sent his resume in response to a specific type of inquiry.  He said "i am going to go shower first"....WHAT THE FUCK?  Really? A potential job call comes in and you are going to go take a shower before returning their call, because surely they have smell-ophones where you can smell the breath or BO of the person on the other line.


WTHell?   I mentioned that to him and he stomped off to go use the bathroom, then stomped down to our family room before making the call.  


What a baby.  I need to be single, i swear.

Inter-generational ranting -- really.

My In-laws are in the midst of moving down to south Florida.  This is a very ambiguous time for me, we love them terribly, my kids will miss seeing them weekly, and they honestly are the only real support we have in terms of potential babysitters, etc...we haven't ever had to really ask anyone else.  But the move is the best for them, they have wanted to do this for a long, long time.  The process includes moving my grand-mother in law, an 87 year old very lovely, very nice, very fun lady.  The IL's have driven down, and the ass-busting ride would not work out so well for said 87 year old.  Let's call her "Dawn" ... so we have taken her in, essentially babysitting her, until Friday (tomorrow!!!) when we take her to the airport and hand her off to the airport attendants to get her settled.

She is not feeble, she is healthy, talkative, opinionated, loving, and honestly lovely.  For a few hours.

DD has been in HEAVEN with Dawn here.  Dawn is DD's new best friend.  Dawn was given DD's room (which has a nice queen sized bd, etc) to sleep in while she is visiting us.  DD refuses to sleep in Sonny's room b/c she wants to have her sleep over with her octogenarian bff. DD doesn't even give me a kiss goodnight. Our long-standing bedtime rituals are not adhered to b/c Dawn tells her it's time for bed.  My children having this opportunity to spend time with their great grandmother is truly a blessing, though I feel every second that it's ticking me toward a huge crevice that I really want to jump into to escape the third parent here in the house.  really.  REALLY. I want to either jump into it or push her into it.  LOL I am pretty certain my IL's wouldn't really mind if she didn't make it down to FL, since she has lived with them for over 40 years now.  This would be like an unexpected alone-time honeymoon....two 60-somethings running around their new 5-bedroom house naked.  ew.

That being said, (ok, now i have to try to windex my mind b/c i am skeeved).

Dawn is driving me crazy. CRAZY, bonkers...kookie, nuts, circus freak crazy.  Truly, honestly, really....CA-RAZY.

I want to run out into the street screaming, if it weren't thundering out.  I am sitting here typing this out and hoping beyond home that she doesn't walk down the stairs and start in on talking to me LOLOLOL.

She can't hear extremely well. She's not deaf, but hears the wrong words.  She corrects my hubby and I when we say things to our kids.  She corrects our children when they haven't done anything wrong.  She is DRIVING ME NUTS with my son who's a bit chubby, by in odd little ways pointing it out to him.  *I*, ranty mom who likes to call a spade a spade, do not point out his chubbiness to him since I am pretty sure he's aware of it and I don't want him to lose the little bit of confidence he has (ala Gibby on iCarly...)

Last night DD was super over-tired.  When they went to bed, Dawn told DD she wouldn't read her a book.  DD decided that it was the perfect time to connip.  Full-out screaming and crying, inconsolable connip.  Dawn kept telling her to stop crying which made it worse.  (cue underdog music here) Hubby goes in and asks what's up.  Dawn tells him that DD is crying and she doesn't know why.  Under-Hubby tells her it's b/c she's over (fucking) tired and doesn't know how to wind down.....and Dawn keeps on the "i don't know why she's upset" path.  Not a good idea with a 4 yo ranting, crying and blubbering all b/c she's FUCKING TIRED.  There's no real reason...she isn't in pain, she's not sick.  She's tired. She's been outside most of the day, running, riding her princess bigwheel and forcing the other girls in the neighborhood to play with her barbies and jewelry and she's done. Now since you allowed her to sleep with you in her bed, READ HER A BOOK AND GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP.....but it continues for a few more minutes, bargaining between an 87 year old and a 4.5 year old (who do you think will win this one??) and the stories begin.

It's silent now, the rain is pouring, thunder is rolling across the sky, but there are no feet coming down the stairs and no whines or "DD, stop that, dd come back" in the octave of age.  I honestly love the silent moments which is why most days I get up at the ass-crack of dawn so i can get some work done job searching and such.....but today it's spent with more than a little anxiety.  If Dawn doesn't get up I have to go check on her, but if I check on her too early, she might still be breathing.....whoops i hear creaking footsteps in the hallway.  Nothing to decide -- today.  Now i hear the voices chatting young and old.  It's still a good day and I love them both but really stay the fuck asleep!!!

Keep on Rantin' all!!

why do i let it annoy me?

When I think of how I tend to complain, i recall a commercial created by Perdue about its oven stuffer roaster in 1985.  The song is perfect for my mood...and i substitute the word "bitch" for pick... bitch, bitch bitch, bitch bitch bitch.

That being said, here I am knowing i am a ranty mcbitcherson but I just cannot stop myself.  I am just full of bitchy goodness almost like a weird oreo cookie or jelly donut LOL.  

Tomorrow is furniture transfer day. My IL's are transferring their furniture to both my BIL and our house.  We are definitly lucking out in this endeavor as we will have a new to us furniture set in our basement that is very cool and a truly excellent living room set for our sunroom...we will have three large seating groups in our home. LOL good news right?  I am just waiting for the people who are taking the basement couch and loveseat to pick it up, then we have to clear out the existing seating from our sunroom, scrub the floor and area and put the new bound carpet remnant down in preparation for tomorrow.  So what in the world do I have to bitch about right?  We are also getting a newer queen bed, a double/full mattress for our son's bottom bunk which will be a welcome change from the futon mattress that allows you to feel every.single. slat in the bottom... but i am troubled.  Why you ask?  BECAUSE my dh, love of my life, keeps telling me to relax.  WHAT THE HELL? Your parents already judge us b/c we are messy sloppy people who live a cluttered life.  And our house in areas that the furniture currently covers, is more than messy...it's dusty and dirty and just YUCK.  So yes, i am stressed about it.  Add to that the fact that my FIL is now forwarding me job hunting tips and giving me information on how to survive the job search and I want to shoot him in the fucking foot.  I know he's being thoughtful but I am doing every.single.thing he sends me, before he sends it to me.  I am getting at least an average of an interview - phone or in person, per week (though admittedly no job offers :(((() so I am doing something right, just not sure what I am doing wrong.

Anyway, just wanted to pick, er, bitch.  I do know we are blessed. I have healthy kids, TG, we have gotten no-cost healthcare for our kids, our AC works and we have more than enough food in the pantry and love to go around  We have people who do care for us and family and friends to share good and bad times with.  

A friend of mine posted on FB yesterday about perspective and I am working on turning my perspective around, trying to treasure the good in our lives and not always lament the not so good.....argh!  

Happy friday people and hope you have a fabulous weekend!

effing idiot

my husband had to go to a cubscout thing today.  They were to meet at a local township school.  For some reason this FUCKING IDIOT thought it might be a good idea to follow our tomtom down a non-paved road.  Only when the fucking wheels of the 4 BY GOD DAMNED 4  jeep are totally stuck w/ the body of the truck caught on a plateau.  What a goddamned asshole REALLY???? who does this shit? With a 9 year old in the fucking car.  Our other car is not inspected nor registered b/c everything on it is going down the tubes.

So of course I had to drive out, with shovels.  The entire scout pack's parents started digging the car out and NOTHING....FML.  Went home with DH having  a nervous breakdown in the car, he took a shower, kids showered and I made dinner, and started calling around to places to get a tow truck out.  Got no answer at most places and those that did answer only have flat beds.  le sigh...so I went to bed to start round two of phone calls in the morning.

Monday morning -- found a place to tow the car (mind you, I am not the person who drove the jeep into a hole.) The price is one that will not overdraw my account so that's good.  Went out to meet the guy (all of us in the unregistered, un-air-conditioned car) and he towed it.  Tow Truck guy was super nice, only charged me the bottom price he quoted us, so that's good.

We found your boat

Now we are home again, luckily, with both cars.  One covered in mud of course but the winner of a husband will wash that off later today "once it's cooler outside"  I am showered and in a snit now b/c he's getting his feelings hurt by the other cub scout dads who are teasing him.  He feels like they are picking on him BOO FRICKING HOOO. really?  you are supposed to be a grown assed man. These guys work all day and then come out to take their kids to cub scouting events. The scout master sent this picture. LOL but it hurt my dh's feelings.  Then he starts talking about how they (two of the scout masters) pick on him and he's starting to get pissed off.  REALLY?  I cannot begin to tell him why people might pick on him. He wanders around oblivious to the fact that he has not worked for over 2 years, has made 0 effort to find a job...i struggle every single day to find employment that will support us, and allow some perks back into our life.  *I* am the one who calls his dad when we need something, *I* am the one who calls to get things fixed or replaced or removed. WHAT is wrong with this picture?  I am so mad right now I could spit, and he wonders why I second guess him when he makes decisions.  really? He could ask that with a fucking straight face.  oh my god, i joked about burying him back where the jeep was.  It was only half a joke, and only half b/c I would not do anything that might leave my children without either parent.

sigh.  /end rant

Normal Complaints on a Friday

Some days I feel like I am truly insane, by the posted definition of "doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome".... and today is one of those days.  

I emailed my FIL with a few questions and he responded with a one word answer that covered the first question.  GRRRRR and I feel my bp rising. Is that normal? probably not. I want him to be different and he isn't going along with my wishes LOL.  

I also have started to really appreciate the non-goofy appearance of my kids as compared to some people I know (no one i know in this realm or in my immediate personal life...)  I am a horrible mommy b/c I compare my kids to the way I see other peoples children.

I am that mom who thinks her kids are beautiful, but I am concerned that maybe they aren't and no one will tell me.  Unattractive children are something that bugs me and pretending that I think a baby or child is cute pains me.  "isn't he precious" or "isn't she something else -- what a little monkey" come to mind.  I can't force myself to say "what a gorgeous baby" when the baby is NOT beautiful.  As you can see  above my daughter (the one with the pop-eye in our annual Christmas card the year she was born). I harbored no illusion that she was a beautiful baby.  She looked like a god-damned skinned squirrel for the first few months of her life. She was an ounce away from being diagnosed with "failure to thrive" and thank god she started to gain weight.  But the friends who told me how beautiful she is became the friends that i did not ask opinions of...b/c I know she wasn't a beautiful infant.  I think she's quirky and beautiful and full of life and energy today, but a beautiful baby she was not....  

So, I ask this question of my bloggy friends, followers, or the random person who reads parenting/mommy blogs -- do you WANT To know how your child appears to others, or do you prefer to think that your little darlings might be king or queen of the prom one day?

I would appreciate honest appraisals of my own offspring.  I am so tempted to post the pictures of the kids in question but alas, I am chicken chicken chicken...